Tuesday, May 29, 2018

Paddle like hell.

When the going gets tough, the rats abandon ship. The strong paddle like hell. Well... I am paddling.

In the last 2 days I have had 39 ducks killed by a pack of coyotes and a small band of raccoons. They are stealthy and cruel and have ripped several of my best buddies to shreds. Many have just been gone the next day. After I literally broke down in their big run, I started to clean up the mess left behind by the raccoons. At least the coyotes take most of their victims with them. They left only 4 to be disposed of. There were 4 they just killed for fun. They were probably teaching their young to hunt using my babies. Sad, the circle of life, it is what it is, so be it, hopefully they were hungry and my babies dies swiftly. As they say in my favorite TV series, "Their fight (flight) is over".

As I clean up the aftermath it reminds me of two of my own sayings, "be careful what you ask for" and "don;t speak it into existence". Bill wanted less animals, he got his wish. I had planned on taking 12 to be harvested. Only 4 f them remain. I had planned on taking 25 to auction as they were young and would make good barnyard pets, there is only 1 of them left. Among the dead was my best buddy, the mother of most of my babies, Penelope. She was a beautiful brown and white duck that always wagged her tail when she saw me. She was not friendly enough to pick up but we had an understanding. Id say hello to her and she would wag her tail. I let her sit on however many eggs she wanted as long as she raised her young. She did all of that well. She raised 21 of this years duckling crop. Most are dead along with her. Only 1 remains. My heart is broken.

As I try to remedy the situation with traps and loaded weapons and late night walks in to the pens I wish humanity had not encroached on these wild critters to the point that they felt they must break in and devour my babies. They got by 10 foot tall bird netting by digging under and pulling one section down, hopping over a fence, clawing through netting and fence in one area and the coons just climbed a tree and walked right in as they scampered down the tree next to it. They have stolen eggs, lives, love... I want revenge. I saw 2 of them. I tried to scare them with the pellet gun to no avail. Next time it wont be a pellet gun I take to their fight. Id rather bury them than my babies.

I will mourn the loss of my feathered friends but I will swim on. Always in shark infested waters but I paddle nevertheless.

Watch out for the human vultures and coyotes this week. They are out en masse as well. Having issues with people following through on promises and keeping their word. I have vowed to not get nasty. Its hard for me as it is so upsetting that I keep my word to all of them and follow through on every promise yet they do not respect me enough to do the same for me. May the coyotes and coons find them and usher in a visit from karma. I normally wish no harm on anyone but today I find it difficult. I pray tomorrow is a new dawn and a new day with a new heart for me.

As I withdraw for a while to regroup I pray that we can save whats left and that our neighbors' babies are spared. If you have a moment to say a prayer for all the babies we lost and those we will try to save, it would be greatly appreciated. Paddle on friends!

Thursday, May 24, 2018

Email trash

I forgot how much time it takes to clean out the e-mail in-box and folders. Whew. I was at it eight hours and it is still not done. I took a break from the jewelry as it was stressing me out so I am working on other invisible things like email and computer files. What a mess. It is so easy to get bogged down in crap these days. What a mess my in-box is.

I spent the morning deleting and unsubscribing and answering notes I had overlooked. Whew! How does anyone really run a business these days? I could spend half and whole days just on the phone and computer. I have no idea how other folks do it. Thank goodness we are shutting up the shop. I have been too stressed for too long.

I had a very nice surprise yesterday. I had a little box arrive at my door filled with morel mushrooms from a dear friend from Illinois. The heart of morel country is northern Illinois and man oh man I miss that taste.

They arrived mushy and in a lot of water so I was terrified that they were rotten and no good. But upon investigating the bag I found them to smell just like the old mushrooms of my youth, just a tad soggier. SO I drained them and chilled them and today I sauteed them up with some red wine and butter and some quinoa. Oh my Lord were they tasty. Lets just say there are NONE left after Bill and I dove in. What a sweet and considerate surprise.

These days packages and snail mail have been put aside a lot but I will tell you that this simple little package filled with fungus made my year. I have not had a morel since 1988. Maybe even before that. It brought back memories of fishing on Honey Creek and the Rock River and getting bored on a no fish day and hunting for mushrooms. The gems of the mushroom hunter are the morel and chantarelle. Morels are harder to find in my humble opinion so to me they are even more prized than the tasty chantarelle.

I cannot thank Paul enough for the yummy surprise. I wish I was going to be up North in the spring when the morels peek through the moist earth after a rain. I miss the crocus and the jonquils poking through the snow, the robins arrival to signal that spring has finally come and the warm breezes are soon to follow and the baby deer and little animals that are everywhere in the spring.

SO today was a day of remembrance. Funny how a little fungus can make such vivid memories return like a flood. Tomorrow I dive back into the sorting project so today was a nice respite. Have a great day and we will see you again once the moon sinks into the sea.

Saturday, May 19, 2018

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

Today I begin the arduous process of downsizing. We all think about doing it but do we all REALLY know what it takes to downsize? I have to downsize a FARM. Now its a small farm so no I do not have to get rid of lots of big things but even on a small farm there are things that accrue. Oh soooo much things. We will get to that but first I decided to start with my room.

My closet is the smallest space in my room yet it seems to hold the most so I decided to start there. My goal is a week to clean. That's probably being optimistic but I had to start somewhere. My jewelry box is in that room so I started with that. Bad decision. It stalled me in my tracks.

I laid out all, yes ALL, of my jewelry on the bed. Its a queen bed and it covered the entire thing. You cannot even see bed anymore. So... I found that I have acquired things from my travels, from my friends and family and I also have things from my Mother, Maternal Grandmother, Paternal Grandparents, Aunts, and extended family. I have many heirlooms. Only I found one hitch, I have no children of my own. I have the kidlets but we have become distant over the years. I have cousins but they too are distant. I try to keep in touch but I am less than perfect. Go figure.

So to remedy the situation I am taking photos of everything and if the thing has a story I am writing it as well. I will gather all these photos and stories into one place and let the kidlets and cousins decide if they want things I am parting with and even things that I am keeping so that I can put it in my will that they may have that item. Its the only thing I could come up with. After that I will extend that to friends and former students that I keep in touch with and after that I will sell whats left. Hows that for a plan? I like it so far. Maybe one day my jewelry stories can be collected into a book. Antonio, my former wwoofer, liked that idea and offered to read it so if one person reads it, to me that's a success!

SO off I go to start the process. I will try to share some here. Id love ideas of other ways to do this too. Its always good to brainstorm. Never hurts!

Here's to the beginning of my 2018 summer journey. May it free me for a new adventure this fall!

I already feel the power of downsizing. it is quite empowering to think you can free yourself by letting go of things. There is much to let go of here. I will be sad for some to go and happy for some to leave but the process will be treated as an adventure! I do love a good adventure!

If anyone wants to do it with me I will be glad to be your cheerleader in exchange for some people motivating me. I know me, I will get discouraged when the tough decisions come up.